


I Don't Deserve This

by themrsbouvier



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, just a general fic with focus on mickey and ians relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-21 12:51:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4829768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themrsbouvier/pseuds/themrsbouvier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you when your world turns upside down? Do you give up or do you pull yourself together and move on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed. I do not own Shameless or any of the characters.

Mickey ran as hard and fast as he could through the streets. Not even thinking about where he was going just running. Adrenaline and instinct taking over and guiding him through the streets. He’d done this enough times at this point that it was mostly muscle memory. He never even looked behind him to see if the crazy bitch was still following him. He knew she was. He could hear her feet hitting the grovel behind him and her screams being carried by the Chicago wind. When he looked around and finally registered where he was he stopped running. He’d gone in a circle and was heading right back towards the Gallagher house. He shook his head and bent over pressing his palms into his knees as he tried to catch his breath and stop the pounding in his chest and the pain emanating through his body. He was out of shape and his head just wasn’t in the fight this time. Tears were stinging his eyes and he wasn’t sure if they were from the burning of his muscles or the fact that Ian had just broken up with him. No they were definitely caused by the burning. His stomach lurched and he wanted to throw up but then Sammi was standing in front of him. He saw her feet and pulled himself back into an upright position.

He laughed sarcastically and holds his arms out as he looks her straight in the eyes. He was done running, he wasn’t a bitch and he wasn’t going to start being one now. “Go ahead. Do it, you stupid bitch. You pull that trigger and I promise you that Chuckie will never make it out of juvie alive.”

Sammi hesitated, she’d heard the rumors about him but she’d never witnessed him being anything but Ian’s boyfriend before. She’d seen him take care of Ian and the rest of the Gallaghers and he seemed harmless. At least until he tried to kill her but he’d fucked that up so how scary could he be? She looked him over and smirked at the destroyed boy in front of her. He was pathetic. “I don’t have to shoot you.” She lowered the gun in her hand but kept her eyes locked on him just in case he tried anything. “You’re already dead inside. Ian dumped you and that, that will do more damage than any bullet could.” She laughed before turning and leaving the alley. the smile never fading from her face.

When she was gone Mickey collapsed onto the ground. Falling on his knees and emptying the contents of his stomach into the alley. “Fuck.” He screamed into the air as he let everything pour out of him. He almost wished Sammi had shot him. At least that pain he was familiar with and knew how to handle. But this, the emptiness and heartbreak was knew to him. He was Mickey fucking Milkovich. Fucking Gallaghers. He shook his head and used the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“Well Fuck. I really thought she was going to kill you. I mean you look like shit but you’re still breathing.” The familiar voice caused mickey to look up and hastily push himself back to his feet. Lip. What the fuck did he want? No, doesn’t matter. Mickey was done with fucking Gallaghers. All of them. He flipped him off before turning and walking away. He didn’t know where he was going he just knew he had to go. He needed t get drunk and forget about that whole fucked up family. He was done with them.

Lip quickened his pace to catch up with Mickey until they fell into stride with each other. He ignored the look Mickey shot him and pulled a joint out of his pocket and lit it. He took a hit before holding it out for Mickey to take. “Here, you could use this more than me.”

Mickey was annoyed, he just wanted to be left alone. why the fuck did Lip give a shit about him anyway. They weren’t friends. They had never been friends. In fact they were the opposite. They hated each other most of the time and Mickey still owed him a beating for Mandy. But he took the joint from him anyway, welcoming the familiar feeling and much needed distraction. “Fuck you want?”

Lip didn’t even bother to react to Mickey’s usual attitude. He was used to it at this point. He’d come to accept it as part of the Milkovich genetic make up. “Fiona told me what happened. Came to make sure Sammi didn’t actually kill you. Ian would have-.” He stopped talking at the dark look that passed over Mickey’s face at the mention of his brother’s name. Lip had gotten the run down from Fiona and he should have known better the to bring him up so he figured he deserved it this time.

“Fuck Ian. Fuck Fiona and Fuck you. fuck all you Fucking Gallaghers.” Mickey quickened his pace trying to get rid of the other boy. “don’t fucking follow me or I swear I will beat the shit out of you fuckhead.” Mickey was not in the mood for this. Couldn’t a guy just get drunk and high in peace anymore? No, apparently no matter where he went or what he did he was always going to have a fucking Gallagher on his case. 

Lip stopped walking and let Mickey go. He was worse then Lip could have imagined. it worried him. He had Mickey had never been friends but over the years Lip had come to accept Mickey’s role in Ian’s life. Even if he thought his brother could do better then the town thug. Mickey was family and he loved Ian despite everything else. Gallaghers don’t turn their back on family. Sammi wasn’t a real Gallagher and Monica, well who knew where she was but as far he was concerned she wasn’t family either. Mickey was more a Gallagher then both of them. He’d grown up a lot in the last few years and Lip knew a lot of that had to do with Ian. Which meant one of two things was bound to happen. Mickey would either go back to his old ways or he was going to self-destruct. Lip was going to make sure neither of those things happened. 

Mickey left the alley and headed straight for the Alibi. He and Kevin may not be on the best of terms anymore, ever since the giant had pulled a gun on him, but he needed a drink more then he cared about that. He threw open the door to the bar and it hit the wall with a thud. No one even gave him a glance except Kevin who was cleaning glasses behind the bar. Mickey walked over shrugging off his jacket and hopping up onto a stool at the bar. “What’s the strongest shit you got in this hell hole?”

Kevin didn’t even flinch at Mickey’s harsh words. He just set a glass down on the counter and grabbed his best bottle of bourbon. He poured some into the glass and slid it to Mickey. He looked like shit but Kevin wasn’t about to press his luck with the pint sized thug. He knew better. The phone rang and Kevin left to answer it. He kept glancing back at Mickey as he spoke in a hushed tone to whoever was on the other end. Mickey noticed but he didn’t care. He was expecting the cops to arrest him any minute and he was going to be drunk off his ass when they showed up. Mickey Milkovich always went out with a bang and this time would be no different. Kevin hung up the phone and refilled Mickey’s glass without question.

Mickey looked up at Kevin before taking the glass and downing it in one swig. He set the glass down with a clang and Kevin refilled it without hesitation. Fucking Gallaghers. He didn’t know which one it was but it didn’t matter. they never could shut their mouths. “Don’t want your fucking pity. So stop giving me that fucking wounded puppy look and tell those Gallaghers to stay out of my fucking life.” He finished his drink and reached into his pocket and slapped some bills on the bar before climbing off the stool and putting his jacket back on. He shook his head and headed towards the door, making sure to flip Kevin off as he walked out. He could hear Kevin shouting and protesting but he didn’t care enough to stop or listen. Fuck him. Fuck all of them. He was Mickey Milkovich and he didn’t need anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

Lip waited until mickey was out of sight before turning and heading back to the Gallagher house. He walked into a strangely quiet house. Carl was in juvie, Sammi was hopefully long gone at this point, Debbie was out with her boyfriend and he wasn’t sure where everyone else was. He took off his coat and hung it over the railing of the stairs. He found Ian and Fiona sitting at the kitchen table. He walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer before joining them. He opened the can, the noise breaking he silence and causing his siblings to glance up at him. “Mickey’s alive in case either of you cared.”

Fiona frowned up at her younger brother before glancing over at Ian, worried about his reaction to the news. Since when did Lip care if Mickey was alive or dead. But they both noticed a flicker of something that might have been relief pass over Ian’s face before it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Ian stood up from the table and looked between his siblings before grabbing his pills and going upstairs without a word. Lip turned to Fiona and nodded, “You got him to agree to take his pills? That’s good.”

Fiona looked up at her little brother and shook her head, “I didn’t say anything. We’ve just been sitting here in silence ever since we came in The pills surprised me as much as they did you. But that’s a good thing, right? IT was his choice. Maybe now he can just focus on getting better. He’s not Monica. He’ll be okay. He’s got a good head on his shoulders. He’s always been the strong one. He’ll be okay and we’ll be here for him.” She was picking at the edges of the table with her nails. An old habit she had picked up when she was young when she was stressed. She had a lot on her plate already and she wasn’t sure she could handle Ian too. “So is Sammi gone? What the fuck happened?”

Lip shook his head and shrugged his shoulders at her question. “Fuck if i know. I found him in the alley on the ground. Fucking crying and puking. it was..kind of I don’t know..humanizing. I’ve never seen him like that before. Mickey Milkovich a human being. Ian really did a number on him. i think we should keep an eye on him. I know I’ve never been his biggest fan but he looked like shit. He doesn’t have any other family. He’s not really a bad guy I guess. I mean everyone else seems to like him well enough and we could use some help around here, Fi.”

Fiona looked at Lip puzzled. She knew that lip had never liked mickey. Which given his own relationship with the female Milkovich. She figured after everything he’d be the one happiest about Ian and Mickey calling ti quits. Get the Milkovich’s out of their lives for good. “Since when do you care about Mickey? He’s not family Lip. what we need to do is put some space between us and them. We need to get our shit together and help Ian. you need to go back to school and make something of yourself because you’re better than this place.”

Lip pulled out his cigarettes and lit one. He took a pull from it before shaking his head. “I was wrong. Like it or not Mickey is family. I may not be his biggest fan. I may think that Ian could do better but he was there for Ian when we weren’t. He’s always there. He may not be stable or always on the straight but who is in this place? Ian changed him though. He’s not the villain we paint him out to be. He’s not Frank.”

Fiona raised an eyebrow and scoffed, “So trying to kill Sammi is what?’ She could admit that she had noticed Mickey changing since being with Ian but that didn’t mean that she was okay with him in their lives. She wanted better for her siblings and as much as Mickey might love Ian and maybe he has changed she wanted better for Ian and she wasn’t going to stop fighting for that.

“Like you hadn’t thought about it. After what she did to Ian and Carl I wish he’d let me help.” He took another pull from the cigarette before setting it down in the ashtray on the table. “You know Debbie helped right? She planned this whole elaborate thing. Sammi wasn’t supposed to almost die but Mickey didn’t know about Sammi’s meds. They just wanted to scare her. Frank even caught them when they were stashing her in the container and he didn’t say shit. No one was sad to have her disappear.” He didn’t know why he was fighting so hard for Mickey. maybe it was the look of desperation on Debbie’s face when she came to him and told him the truth. Maybe he felt like he owed Mickey, or maybe he owed Ian. He knew he wasn’t the best brother lately. But seeing Mickey in that alley changed things for him. For the first time he saw Mickey as a person and not just some street thug. “You know he’s been visiting Carl? Fuck Fi, we haven’t even gone to visit him and Mickey goes every week. They said he never misses a visit. The two of us have been so wrapped up in our own shit lately we didn’t even notice. We didn’t even notice Mickey Milkovich picking up our slack,” He shook his head and took another long drag. 

Fiona didn’t know what to say. Lip was right. She’s never realized just how much Mickey had done for them. She had been so wrapped up in her own stuff she had missed it. He had made himself a part of their family and not just because of Ian. She’d always thought that was the only reason he had stuck around but now that she thought about it and hearing everything Lip said made her realize it wasn’t just Ian that he had been there for. He’d been there for her too. “Well fuck me,” She reached across the table and took one of Lip’s cigarettes, “Mickey Milkovich is a mother fucking Gallagher.” 

Lip laughed and nodded and neither of them knew that Ian was listening to everything they were saying. He’d come back down to grab a drink but stopped when he heard his siblings mention Mickey. The pain was still too raw for him. His head still confused and foggy. The look on Mickey’s face was forever ingrained into his memory. He hadn’t meant to hurt him. He hadn’t meant what he said. but his head wasn’t on straight. He’d let Monica get into his head and now everything was fucked. He needed to figure this whole thing out before he could be with Mickey. Before he could trust himself not to hurt Mickey again. He had to push him away or else he would just destroy everything they had. it was the better of two bad options. Hearing his siblings talk about Mickey being part of the family made him smile though. At least he knew Mickey wasn’t going to be alone. He pushed himself up from his spot on the stairs and headed back to his room. He had to have some Gatorade or something lying around.

Mickey stumbled up the stairs of his front porch, a joint in one hand and an open bottle of booze in the other. He kicked open the door with his foot and walked inside not bothering to close it behind him. He headed towards the couch before he stumbled and fell into the chair at the sight of Debbie Gallagher standing in front of him. “fucking hell. You can’t just break into someones house and scare the shit out of them.” 

His words were slurred and Debbie was less than impressed. She’d seen him like this before. At least this time he had clothes on. She walked over to him and tried to help him to his feet, but he kept swatting her away. “Mickey, it’s okay to need help once in awhile,” she avoided his flailing arms and wrapped her arms around him as she helped him to his feet and over to the couch. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass and a wet washcloth before taking a seat on the couch next to him. She handed him the washcloth, “Clean yourself up mickey. You look like you rolled around in the alley.”

He glared at her but took the cloth and watched as she poured him a drink. Out of all the Gallaghers she was probably his second favorite. She was a badass and she reminded him a lot of Ian, which was the last thing he wanted right now. “The fuck you doing here Peppermint Patty?” He tried to make himself sound tough even as he wiped his face with the cloth. But the look on her face let him know that he was failing. He took the glass she filled for him and downed it before holding it out and letting her pour him another.

She poured his drink before setting the bottle on the table, “Heard about Sammi. I wanted to make sure you were okay and I was looking for a place to crash in case she decides to come after me. She’s kind of crazy and this is the last place she’ll look for me.” Debbie was only half lying to him but she doubted that in his current condition he could tell. Her eyes darted towards her purse where the pregnancy test was before turning her attention back to him.

Mickey eyed her but he already knew he wasn’t going to turn her away. Fucking Gallaghers. “fine. you can stay in Mandy’s room. i’d suggest changing the sheets though. there should be some clean ones in the closet in the hall.” she nodded and Mickey watched her leaves before pulling himself to his feet with some difficulty. He was starving. He stepped away from the couch and tripped over Debbie’s purse lying on the floor. He opened his mouth to yell at her for leaving her crap all over the place but stopped when he spotted something that made him sober up real quick. He bent down and picked up the stick before carrying it to Mandy’s room. Debbie was in the middle of putting the new sheets on the bed when he appeared in the doorway. “The fuck is this?” His voice was higher then normal as he tried to control his anger and worry.

Debbie looked up at him and froze when she saw the test in his hand. Her face was a mix of horror and fear before quickly shifting to anger as she stormed over to him and grabbed the test out of his hand. “Why are you going through my stuff? It’s my business not yours.” She stormed back into the living room and kneeled down to start picking up the contents of her bag.

Mickey shook his head before following her. his face slipping into his normal annoyed expression. “first of all I didn’t go through your shit. I tripped trying to get to the kitchen to make some food. Fucking starving. Second why you holding on to that shit? It’s like keeping piss in your purse. That’s gotta be unsanitary or something.” now his annoyance was more anger as it clicked in his mind what the test meant. “Who the fuck do I have to kill for this? You’re what 14, 15? Fuck Debbie were you.. did he..” he couldn’t even get the words out but his brain was already thinking of all the ways he could kill whoever was responsible for this.

Debbie looked at him in surprise and quickly shook her head, “No. No it was my boyfriend. I wanted this Mickey. I wanted to get pregnant.” At Mickey’s confused look she couldn’t help but feel bad about her earlier anger. Her and Mickey had been bonding lately and she appreciated that he was looking out for her. For the first time in a long time it felt like she had someone who cared about her again. “I want him to stay. I like him a lot and everyone always leaves me. Monica, Frank, Ian, Lip, even Fiona. I just want to make sure he can’t leave. I want him to stay.” the tears were building in her eyes and she wrapped her arms around herself. she looked up at Mickey with worry and fear in her eyes. “Are you going to leave now too? Now that Ian..” she bit her lip and looked down at the ground afraid to look at him as he answered.

It was strange for mickey to see the usually loud, brash and fearless redhead to be so fragile and broken. It killed a part of him and he couldn’t even explain why. He felt something for the younger Gallagher that he didn’t even have with his own sister. Before he could even think about it he was walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug, “It’s okay Debbie. I’m not going anywhere. You’re going to be okay. you and me we’re family and family takes care of each other.” He kissed the top of her head as he held her. He didn’t know how he was going to help her or what they were going to do about all of this but he was sure more now than ever that he couldn’t lave her. not that he planned on going anywhere but he wasn’t going to let himself become some drunk loser. They needed him and he wasn’t going to let them down now. He had to step up. “You can stay here as long as you need. whatever you need, i’m here. We’ll figure it out. I promise.”


	3. Chapter 3

Mickey didn’t think he’d ever get used to this. Sitting in the cold, hard plastic chairs of the juvie center, staring at the smudged glass that separated the visitors from the incarcerated. He was used to sitting on the other side of the glass, it looked different from the outside. He glanced down at the badge hanging from his shirt pocket that labeled him a visitor. That’s what he was now and what he always planned to be. Orange just wasn’t his color. The buzz sounded and the door opened and the line of boys came out. Mickey’s attention was drawn back to the glass as Carl walked out and took his seat across from him. They both smiled and picked up the phones in unison. it was a routine they had mastered at this point. Every week since Carl had been sent here Mickey had shown up like clockwork.  
“I put some money in your commissary and got you a carton of smokes. You were running low last time i was here,” mickey tapped his fingers on the counter in front of him as his eyes scanned Carl for any sign that he was struggling on the inside. “You need anything else in there?”  
Carl shook his head, “Nah, thanks. I got this bitch. Remembered everything you taught me. These bitches know their place.” he smirked and sunk lower in his chair. he was taller than Mickey now and the thought made him laugh.  
“Course they do. I never had any doubt you little psychopath.” Mickey laughed but it sounded hollow even to himself. It’d been almost a week since Ian broke up with him and he thought he had been doing okay. Debbie had practically moved into Mandy’s room and Svet had been on him about taking the kid more. They kept him pretty busy but sitting here now with Carl he couldn’t help but let his mind drift back to all the times that Ian had come to visit him when he’d been the one locked up.   
Carl watched Mickey get lost in thought and glanced to the sides of him to make sure no one was listening in before leaning closer to the glass and lowering his voice. “Hey, Mick, it’s okay to miss him. Ian will come around. He’s just like all fucked in the head right now. You think when i get out of here you can teach me how to shoot a gun? Ian promised to help me with the knife stuff but that was before he went crazy.”  
Mickey dragged himself out of his thoughts and back to the present at the sound of Carl’s voice in his ear, “Ian’s not crazy. His brain just works differently. the meds and shit will help level him out and you’ll help when you get out of here. Keep yourself out of trouble, get you a job, back in school and helping Fiona at the house. then we can talk about shooting guns. I may be dumb but i ain’t that stupid, kid.”  
Carl laughed and rolled his eyes at Mickey, “Yeah, okay but what the fuck am i supposed to do Not like i have any skills?” Carl wanted to help his siblings, it was how he had gotten into this situation in the first place. He just didn’t know how he was supposed to make any money. He couldn’t even manage to sell drugs right, he sucked at school so he had no chance at college like Lip, and he couldn’t join the army because he hated authority. It wasn’t looking like a very bright future for him.  
“We’ll figure it out. Might be able o get you a job tarring roofs or something. It’s shit work but it’s something. You’ll go back to school and then you can learn something useful. You like blowing shit up so we could think about getting you in demolition or construction or some shit.” Mickey shrugged. How the hell did he end up with two Gallaghers depending on him for advice and the future? He was the last person anyone should be looking up to but he found himself faced with two Gallaghers and unable to turn either of them away. The guard shouted something about time being up and he sighed. He hated Carl being stuck in this place. He knew what it was like in there and how rough it could be. But if anyone could deal with it, it would be Carl. He hung up the phone and pushed back his chair and stood up. He stopped when he heard Carls voice echoing through the glass that separated them.  
“Same time next week Mick?”   
Mickey felt part of himself break at the slight tremor in the younger boys voice. The need for the assurance even after all this time. “Wouldn’t miss it,” the smile on Carl’s face as he walked through the door and back into the hallway made it all worth it to Mickey. Maybe he had gone soft but maybe that was a good thing. It reminded him of the fact that he had no one else. His own fucking family hadn’t even been to see him once since he got here. He headed out of the building, stopping only to slip a wad of cash to one of the guards. He knew how Juvie worked, he’d been there enough times himself. You didn’t get anything for free and after his last visit and seeing Carl’s black eye he knew he needed to do something. Slipping a guard a few bucks was a small price to pay to make sure the little Gallagher made it out alive.  
Lip walked into the Gallagher house and dropped his book bag down on the couch. It was quiet again and he was starting to get used to it. He saw Ian running back and forth in the kitchen and smiled. At least he wasn’t locked in his bedroom. He made his way to the kitchen by was stopped by Ian blocking his way. “Shoes off. I just mopped this floor. We are not pigs.” Ian went back to shuffling laundry around and Lip kicked off his shoes before stepping into the kitchen and hopping up on the counter.  
“No work today?” Lip pulled his pack of smokes out of his pocket and lit one. He watched Ian carefully but he seemed good. He wasn’t manic or anything, just normal or as normal as he could be. He actually seemed healthy.  
Ian closed the door to the dryer and started it before turning to look at his older brother. “Day off. I just like to keep busy. So I don’t have time to sit and think. It makes me feel useful. Like i’m not..like there isn’t something wrong with me. Like i accomplished something.” There was another reason he didn’t want to be left with his thoughts but he wasn’t about to admit it out loud.  
Lip blew out some smoke and raised an eyebrow, Ya know going back to school and finishing senior year will do that for you too. You probably only have a few credits left. It shouldn’t be too hard or time consuming.” He was fully prepared for the backlash he was sure Ian was going to throw his way. But Fiona had made him promise to bring it up.  
ian groaned and rolled his eyes, of course that was his brothers frist priority. The kid who took 3 semesters to finish school and at one point refused to go because what was the point. “Don’t start that shit with me Lip. Not all of us are born geniuses. I’ve got enough on my plate right now, I don’t need to think about school. It’ hard enough getting out of bed most days and sitting in a classroom for hours at a time is not going to happen,” he picked up the basket of clean laundry and brought it over to the table and started folding it.   
Lip sighed but let the subject drop for now. The last thing he was prepared to do right now was get into a fight with his brother. “Okay. How is the job? You like it? Better than working at the club I’m sure.” He hated being forced into small talk with his brother. They used to be best friends who told each other everything and now they were like strangers. Maybe it was his own fault. He knew he was a dick most of the time. He’d never been particularly supportive and then he’d gone off to college and left everyone behind. He’d never been the big brother Ian deserved and maybe he’d finally figured that out.  
Ian was frustrated and he tossed Liams’ shirt that he was folding back into the basket before turning to face his brother. “Fucking hell Lip. I’m not glass. Stop treating me like i’m about to break if you say something to upset me. It’s what you do. You piss me off and shove your opinion down my throat. I am so sick of people treating me like I can’t take care of myself. Like I’m broken. I’m not broken. This is me. This is who i am now. I can’t be fixed. I don’t need to be fixed. Everyone just needs to learn to deal with it.”  
Lip hopped off the counter and moved to stand in front of his brother. Ian was taller than him but that had never made him back down before. “No one said you were fucking broken. But you can’t take care of yourself. You’ve proved that ore than once. We’re your family Ian. Me, Fiona, Carl, Debbie, Liam, and Mickey. We’re your family and we’re gonna fucking take care of you because that’s what family does. that’s what we’ve always done. We look after each other even when we don’t want it. Even when we don’t think we need it. Maybe you could do this alone but why try if you don’t have to? Wouldn’t you rather have people watching your back? We’re not trying to fix you. We’re trying to help you. You keep insisting that you’re not Monica than prove it Ian. Be better than her. Get your shit together and stop trying to push everyone away.”  
Ian stared at his brother during his rant and felt himself deflate a little. He let himself fall into the chair and put his head in his hands. “I cheated on him. I stole his kid and took off. All the shit I put him through. He could barely look at me half the time. When he did he didn’t see the same person anymore. I was a stranger that he was trying to see as the old me. How do you get past that? How do you forgive everything that I’ve done? He worked so hard to give me what i wanted and then..” He looks up at his brother again and sighs, “He told me he loved me and I broke up with him. You should have seen his face. He was so broken. i broke him because i didn’t want to be the only one broken.”  
Lip sighed and sat down in the chair next to him, “Mickey’s put you through a lot of shit too, Ian. The two of you have never had it easy. We’ve never made it easy for you. Maybe that’s why I was always so against him, ya know. You’re my brother and i was trying to look out for you. i wanted what was best for you and I thought you deserved more. I wanted more for you than this. I saw what loving him did to you and I hated him for it. Now I see what loving you has done to him and the both of you are fuckheads. It’s gotta be the most unhealthy relationship I’ve ever seen. And that’s counting frank and Monica. But you guys have your moments. He’s been there for you and you’ve been there for him. give and take, yeah? You guys will figure it out and I’ll always have your back. If you don’t than you’ll find someone else and that will be okay, Ian. I saw him after and he looked like shit but you didn’t break him Ian. He’ll be okay. He is okay. Debbie texts me sometimes. He’s keeping himself busy and he’s been looking out for her and Carl. He misses you though. She said sometimes she can hear him crying himself to sleep.” he chuckles a little. “Never thought i would see the day when mickey Milkovich cried himself to sleep over a Gallagher. But I guess that’s just what we do to Milkovichs. We make them love us and then we leave them. ”  
Ian glanced down at the table and then went back to folding the clothes in front of him. He was torn about his feelings and thoughts for Mickey right now. He wasn’t ready to go there just yet. To tackle that hurdle. one step at a time but at least he didn’t have to wear the guilt and worry. He didn’t have to worry that Mickey was alone and drinking himself to death.  
Mickey got off the train and walked down the street towards his house. He tugged his beanie down lower on his head and stuck his hands in the pockets of his coat. His mind still racing from his visit with Carl. He was focused on the ground in front of him as he turned into his yard and froze looking up at Fiona Gallagher sitting on his front steps. She was still in her work uniform as he walked past her and opened the door to his house. He walked inside and left it open for her to follow him. He slipped off his hat and coat and hung them up before turning to face her standing in the doorway still. “Debbie’s not here. She goes to the library after school on Wednesdays.”  
Fiona looked down at her hands before looking up at him and nodded, “Yeah, I know. I came here to see you actually. Wanted to see how you were, what happened to your Car? You take the train up to see Carl or something?” she felt strange being in this house now. The only other time she had been here was when Ian was sick. But Debbie had made this her home and Lip was right, Mickey was family. So she imagined she would be here a lot more now.  
Mickey shrugged and walked into the living room and sat down on the couch motioning for her to sit down. “I sold it. Needed the cash more than i needed the car. Not in the drug business anymore so everywhere I have to go I can get by the L. Carl’s good. I made sure he’s taken care of in there and I’ve been putting money into his commissary so he’s got everything he needs. think it might be nice for you and the rest of the clan to go see him though. Think he’s lonely ya know?” Mickey’s family wasn’t like the Gallaghers. They had each others backs when they needed to but they never expressed love or kindness to each other. They didn’t know how.   
Fiona took the seat across from him and nodded. She wasn’t sure what he needed the money for but hearing that he had gotten himself out of the drug trade was good news. At least she knew Debbie wasn’t going to be mixed up in all of that. Not that she didn’t trust Mickey because after everything that had happened lately she knew that when it came to her siblings Mikcey could always be trusted to be the best he knew how. She’d never thought of where Mickey came from. Just focused on who he was now and that had been her mistake. He was a product of his environment just as much as she was. He just didn’t have a Fiona to look after him. “Yeah. I keep meaning to it’s just been hard. With Ian and Work and everything finding the time to get up there. I know I shouldn’t be making excuses because he’s family. I feel like a shit sister. To all of them you know. I haven’t been there for them and I know it’s my fault. i still have a lot of growing up to do. I guess I cam here to tell you that. To tell you that I know i’m not perfect but I’m going to get better for them. For them and for you. You’re family Mickey. I may not have made you feel like it before but you are. I was that girl I always said I would never be. I looked down on you because of where you came from but I’m not better than you. We’re all the same. I guess I wanted to thank you. For taking care of Carl and Debbie and for making me see that I needed to get my life together. That i need to be better. That I could be better.”  
Mickey didn’t know what to say at this point. No one had ever been this nice to him before and the fact that it had been Fiona saying it was like a punch in the guy. She had simultaneously insulted and complimented him at the same time. But she was the parent figure he had always been searching for so he took it. She was welcoming him into the family he had unknowingly worked so hard to became a part of. He had the Gallagher seal of approval just not from the one he wanted it from the most. Not anymore.


End file.
